.I don't usually go in the afternoon, preferring the soft dawn light or the hesitation of dusk but I had no choice. By 2'oclock I was an overflowing pot of anger, sadness and irritability that always seems to arrive so tangibly like a prickle just below the skin.
I realised that I had not been to the woods for weeks, how could this happen when usually its my daily dose of grounding? I had been neglecting my need for nature and subconsciously so. You see with the world as it is I had taken an inner decision not to visit the woods because it hurt too much, perhaps I might fall out of love with it and then I could just go about without a care, like childhood days where all you see is the simplicity...yes I was longing for simplicity.
It was humid down there and the birds were just a hint of themselves, replacing songs for the occasional flap of feathers amongst the waxy new oak leaves. Caught amongst the cow parsley were tendrils of white catkin dust looking like rabbit down on a washing line, billowing in the breeze. Old jet crow feathers lay dusty and unwanted along the path.
Try as I might though I could not find the simplicity, everything I saw had a story be it real or otherwise. So I sat upon a stump and listened for a while but instead of hearing my surroundings all I could hear was myself. It's been many years since I was a child and yet it could just as easily be days but the time in between has seen me romanticise my memories. Yes my little girl did notice simplicity but she was and always has been very complicated and she was telling stories to the wind since way before I was around to listen.
Yesterdays walk has percolated and I discovered there is another S hiding in simplicity, there is SOUL. As I have grown the two have merged and become quite wonderful as a pair. Having spent my life noticing the simple moments has resulted in the germination of a soul. So when it all seems too much and there are many stories waiting for me in the woods I will remember that it was all born from something very tiny, a small girl with odd socks hiding in the woods, believing in what she loves.